Let’s talk about #goals. Everyone has them. Some are bigger than others, but every goal is so important. I was speaking to someone today about what I have learned about myself this past year, and at the core of everything is that I simply cannot accept the limits placed on myself or anyone else. Getting through something like this has shut up that voice of self-doubt in my head in a big way. What if I’m not smart enough? Well, I know I can work harder than anyone else to get to something I want. I didn’t consider myself weak before this accident, but I wouldn’t say I felt strong either. But now, I know I am.
So, at this point last year my idea of #goals looked quite different from what it is now. All I wanted was to be able to walk myself to go pee in the middle of the night and NOT have to wake my mom up to make sure I didn’t fall on my way to the bathroom. Or to be able to sip out of a cup without it dribbling down my chin (still a challenge). Or to be able to tap my left foot in time to a beat. Today, my #goals include: passing calculus, surviving (and thriving in) organic chemistry, graduating college, and making it out of bed in time for my classes. There is not a single doubt in my mind about the certainty of tomorrow, nor do I have to question whether or not I am physically able to make it through each day.
I have learned that there really isn’t much use in setting limits for myself before I have actually tried, because this year has shown me that you truly just never know. This is not to say that ‘anything is possible’…the fact that I’m half-deaf means that I will most definitely never win American Idol, and I don’t think pigs are any closer to flying than they were when that saying came around. What I mean is, why live in the “what-if-I-fall?” place rather than the “what-if-I-fly?” place? If I can climb this mountain, surely anyone else is capable of a whole lot more than they are currently giving themselves credit for. Sorry for the hashtag when I say #goals. When I say it out loud, that’s what goes through my head. I know, it’s excessive.
A year ago yesterday, I came home from inpatient rehab, and was officially done with hospital stays. I was unhooked from every machine, but still had a long road ahead of me. Thank you to my amazing family for putting up with me, and my incredible friends for keeping me entertained. I think my greatest accomplishment last summer, just short of re-learning how to walk, was finishing all of Grey’s Anatomy in 3 months.